Big Gene: Jealousy Machine
by Fix-it Feli
Summary: Calhoun finally decides to move in with Felix, but gets moving jitters due to the cold welcome she receives from the one-and-only Big Gene. Meanwhile, Gene's jealousy immediately stirs up trouble within the apartment. And Felix... is just Felix.
1. Chapter 1

Ever since Gene had attended Felix and Calhoun's wedding, he'd been dreading this day. He hadn't said anything—not even when he was helping Felix move boxes up to his apartment in the penthouse. But all the same, he'd been dreading it. Nothing good could come from this, he was sure of it. He could feel it in his moustache.

Every time he caught a glimpse of armor pass by him in the hallway, his thoughts became an angry jumble and he saw red. Every time he had to hear that shrill, angry voice giving out orders—who knew who had died and given her the authority to do so— he wanted to kick something with his stubby little feet. Usually he did, when he thought nobody was around.

He didn't like Calhoun living in the penthouse, and Calhoun didn't like Gene either. She had tried to be decently friendly towards him in the beginning, for Felix's sake, but every time she had attempted to throw him a passing "hi" or something, he'd just glared at her in return. Unfortunately for him, Calhoun was the queen of glaring, and she won the staring contest every time. Each time Gene lost, he'd get flustered out of anger and back out of the room, muttering to himself.

Eventually Calhoun gave up on being friendly and just decided to settle of being civil by not beating the crap out of him. Gene knew Calhoun could probably kill him in a heartbeat, and he knew Calhoun also knew he knew this, and that thought made him angrier than anything. In his anger, lately he'd been drinking a few too many martinis. Mary was noticing, and was a little concerned. One day, finally sick of Gene locking himself up in his room with his alcohol, Mary urged Felix to talk to him again.

Felix hesitantly approached Gene's room, wringing his hands nervously. He had tried to talk to Gene about this before, but boy, Gene had been like a live wire ever since his dynamite gal had moved in. It was impossible to have a conversation with Gene if Calhoun was around, but maybe this time things would go smoother with no one else with him.

Felix knocked on the door. He heard some stumbling around and the clinking of what were probably martini glasses.

"Who issit?" He heard Gene call from inside his room. His voice held a slight slur. Felix winced.

"It's me, Felix." Felix replied, trying to sound as cheery as possible in case Gene was in a bad mood. He heard some more stumbling around, and anxiously waited for Gene to let him in. Finally Gene opened the door a crack and peeked out, probably to see if Felix had brought anyone with him.

Gene looked drunker than Felix had ever seen him. "Howdy, Gene," Felix said, trying to ignore the strong stench of alcohol. When Gene saw Felix was alone, he opened the door all the way. He seemed to perk up a little.

"Yes Felix? Did you need something?" Gene asked. He had the air of a dog eager to serve its master, and it was a little unnerving sometimes.

"Oh, no, I just thought I'd drop by," Felix said. He wasn't really sure how he was supposed to go about this. "Mary told me you were in a bad way, so I figured I'd see if you were doin' alright."

Gene scowled and rolled his eyes. "I'm fine. Mary always worries too much, I can handle myself."

Felix nodded, but he wasn't too sure. Gene had been letting himself go lately.

"I'm more worried about you," Gene continued.

"What?" Felix asked. "Whatever for?"

Gene glanced around again to make doubly sure there was no one else around. "That military gal you've been hanging around with. She seems very…violent. Is all." Gene looked like it pained him to even talk about her at all.

"'Hangin' around with'?" Felix laughed. "Gene, we're married!"

Felix had just been trying to lighten to the mood, but it seemed that reminding Gene of this while in such a drunken state had just set him off for some reason. Gene's face contorted and grew red. "Yes, of course," Gene said between clenched teeth. "Haha. Well, good night Felix." He promptly slammed the door closed.

"Sheepers," Felix sighed after a moment. He decided to give up for now, and try again when Gene was sober.


	2. Chapter 2

As Felix returned to the lobby, he nearly walked straight into his wife's legs. "Fix-it," she addressed him as he came to a halt, his head snapping up to look her in the eyes. "What were you doing on this side of the building?" She arched a blonde eyebrow, seeming suspicious.

"Oh, I was just checkin' up on ol' Gene. He hasn't been the same ever since…" Felix trailed off, realization crossing his gaze. "…since you moved in," he finished, a quiet gasp punctuating the end of his sentence.

"Ah, I noticed. He's been lookin' at me weirder than a pampered poodle looks at a family of hungry fleas," the Sergeant observed.

"Do… do ya think he's jealous?" Felix asked, the thought having just dawned on him.

"Wouldn't doubt it. The same thing occurred to me a while ago," Calhoun agreed with a sharp nod.

"Oh my land, it didn't even cross my mind," he murmured, eyebrows furrowing as he thought hard. He would just have to discuss the whole thing with Gene, then. Though, it would be best to wait until Gene was sobered up. "I really should've realized sooner. It was so obvious!" He was disappointed in himself. After all, his wife was insanely attractive; why, any man in the world would be jealous of him! He truly was lucky to be betrothed to such an amazing woman.

"You should have a talk with him. He has some sort of creepy obsession," Calhoun growled. "And if you don't talk to him, I will. And I won't be nearly as pleasant as you will." With that, she stalked away, muttering to herself.

* * *

Calhoun went off in the direction of her and Felix's apartment, all her emotions on edge. She hoped nobody tried to annoy her with anything stupid right now, because frankly she was just not in the mood.

At least she and Felix were on the same page now, she thought. She'd been worried Felix was never going to realize that this…angry little man named Gene had some sort of perverse crush on him. Calhoun loved Felix, but sometimes he was as oblivious as a baby chicken in a chicken nugget factory.

Gene's "feelings"—if you could call it that—for Felix had always seemed obvious to Calhoun, but maybe that was just her natural perceptiveness at work. Whenever Gene wasn't actively glaring at Calhoun, he was more or less idolizing Felix. Calhoun noticed Gene would always look at Felix a little longer than necessary. He was pretty sure Gene would jump off of a cliff if Felix asked him to; not that the fixer ever would.

At first she'd dismissed it as Gene essentially just being some sort of creepy fangirl, but as time went on she realized just how obsessive Gene was over Felix. She could tell it made Felix uncomfortable sometimes, despite not knowing why Gene was doing it. And knowing it made Felix uncomfortable made her want to throw Gene out a window and just be done with it.

But she wouldn't do something like that unless she really had to. She hadn't been living in the penthouse very long, and she still felt like she was mostly just a guest there. She didn't want to go stirring up trouble. And, she reminded herself yet again, at least Felix knew now. But if Gene took any of this too far, she was going to make him regret it.

Finally nearing the door to her apartment, Calhoun had thankfully calmed down enough that she didn't flip out when one of the Nicelanders bumped into her, nearly causing both of them to trip. She glanced down and saw that it was Mary. Calhoun didn't know a whole bunch about Mary, except that Felix always raved about her cakes and pies. Just by glancing at her face, Calhoun could tell Mary had been crying.

Calhoun really didn't want to deal with more drama right now, but she felt obligated to at least ask, now. "You alright there, Mary?"

Mary sniffled, looking up at Calhoun as she wiped away some of her tears. "I-I'm fine, dearie. T-thanks for asking," she shakily answered, turning to walk away.

Though Calhoun wanted nothing more than to just go into her room, she couldn't fight off the intense curiosity. "No, you're not," she protested, almost accusingly. She knelt down so that she could be eyelevel with the little lady. "Now, tell me what's wrong," she ordered.

Mary hesitated before sighing deeply. "It's just… me and Gene have been dating on and off for a while now. And I've wanted us to take it a step further… But, he never wants to! It's like he's…" she faltered once more, casting a nervous glance toward Calhoun, as if she didn't want to admit this. "…holding out for someone else."

Calhoun's eyes narrowed. She had a feeling she knew where Mary was going with this. "Someone else, huh?" she echoed, glancing around to make sure the coast was clear before leaning a tad closer to Mary. "Wouldn't happen to be my husband, would it?"

Surprise lit Mary's gaze. "How did you—"

"Listen, Mary. I've seen the way Gene looks at him and follows him around like a lost puppy dog. And I'm not gonna lie, it's very off-putting." The Sergeant paused, letting it sink in, before continuing, "You want your Gene back right?" Mary nodded. "And I want him to leave my husband alone. So, since we're clearly on the same side here, here's what we're going to do: I won't leave Fix-it's side, and you won't leave Gene's. This way, Gene will be reminded that my husband is taken, and he has a lovely companion of his own anyway."

"Sounds easy enough," Mary agreed with a tiny nod. "Thank you so much," she added, looking truly grateful for the Sergeant's help.

"Not a problem. Now that I live here, it's my duty to make sure everything's in tip-top shape. And that includes ridding this apartment of silly high school drama." With a smirk, Calhoun got back to her feet, turning to head into her apartment. "Now go accompany your man. Our plan will set into action immediately." With that, she entered her room, slamming the door shut behind her for dramatic effect. Excitement tingled from her head to her toes. This was going to be good.


	3. Chapter 3

The next day, Calhoun and Mary's plan went fully into action. Mostly just because Mary couldn't get Gene to come out of his room the day before—goodness, was he drunk—but by the next morning Gene had decently sobered up.

Mary knocked on the door, trying not to fret too much. She sure hoped Calhoun's plan would work.

"Come on in, Mary; door's open," she heard Gene respond from inside.

Mary nudged the door open and peered inside. The place looked like a disaster area and smelled like booze, but she didn't mind. All she cared about was the sorry state Gene had been putting himself in.

As she came in she saw him hastily putting a book that looked worryingly similar to Twilight back on his bookshelf, amongst an alarming amount of Fix-it Felix biographies. He reached for the newspaper on his nightstand to read instead.

"Ahem. So how are you, Mary dear?" Gene asked.

"Just fine, Genie-Beanie," she said with a soft smile, taking a seat on the edge of Gene's bed. She looked pointedly around the room, at the clutter of martini glasses, the biographies, the "Felix Fan 100%" and "No Yows" posters. He followed her gaze, looking slightly uncomfortable. "And you?"

Gene turned his eyes down to his newspaper so he could avoid her gaze. He knew where this conversation was heading. "I'm well, thanks," he said.

Mary sighed lightly, eyebrows knitting together. "Gene, I've been thinking. We've…we've been spending less time together lately. So I thought—"

"What?" Gene interrupted. "We haven't been spending less time together."

Mary shot him a stern, exasperated look. "Gene, you've been holing yourself up in your room 24/7 lately! I almost never see you."

"Don't be ridiculous, you see me all the time." Gene said, annoyed.

Mary pursed her lips in aggravation. "No, sweetie, I don't." How could he live in such denial? "I didn't see you once yesterday, even when you had promised you'd take me out to dinner last night."

Gene finally looked up from his newspaper, eyes wide. "That was last night? I thought that was supposed to be Thursday night. What day is it?"

"Friday," Mary said tersely. She stood up. "Gene, you're falling apart. You're letting yourself go! That's why I think it would be a good idea if you stayed by my side more often. We don't do anything as a couple anymore. I was talking to Calhoun, and she—she told me that—"

"She told you what?" Gene asked sharply. He looked very much like he had something to hide.

But Mary couldn't bring herself to say it. Standing here in front of Gene, Calhoun's suspicions all seemed too ridiculous to say out loud. She cared so deeply about Gene that she didn't want to believe he could be as creepy as Calhoun had said. There had to be some other explanation for Gene's odd behavior, she thought.

"She just gave me some advice," Mary said after a moment. "You know, couples advice. And I really think it would be good for us if you spend more time with me." A lot more. Gene needed to make up for all the time he'd already wasted.

Gene hesitated, but he couldn't say no. Not after he'd just stood her up like that yesterday. He really hadn't meant to, he had just…gotten caught up in other things.

* * *

Meanwhile, Felix was pacing around his and Calhoun's apartment. "I'm gonna talk to him again next time I see him, Tammy," Felix said. "No more dilly-dallyin' and beating around the bush."

Calhoun sipped her coffee—black, which was the only way to drink it—and glanced up at Felix from where she was seated on the couch. Confident as her husband was trying to sound, he couldn't seem to stop pacing for the life of him.

"He's bound to have calmed down and sobered up by now," Calhoun said, trying to reassure the fixer. "You wanna sit down for a minute, cadet? I'll make us some breakfast." She made to stand up, but Felix shook his head before she could start walking towards the kitchen.

"I'm not too hungry yet, honeymuffin," Felix said. He smiled. Usually her cooking was almost as disastrous as his, anyway. "I think I'm just gonna go get some fresh air."

Calhoun shrugged as Felix headed for the door. "Suit yourself."

She knew she'd told Mary that they both needed to stick around their men more, but Calhoun didn't want to seem overly clingy, and she wasn't properly dressed yet anyway. She'd join Felix in a bit.

* * *

As Felix emerged from his and Calhoun's room, he noticed Gene was making his way down the hallway toward him. In a way, it was perfect timing, since Felix had been considering talking to Gene all morning. But on the other hand, the handyman wasn't sure he was ready for a confrontation just yet, and he could feel the butterflies cluttering his stomach.

"Gene," Felix said, forcing enthusiasm, "what good timing! I was just about to go lookin' for you!"

Gene came to an abrupt halt in front of him, and for the first time, Felix noticed that the mayor was not alone. Mary scuttled out from behind him, a worried frown plastered on her face. Honestly, she looked anything but happy to run into Felix.

"Hello, Felix," Gene said, sounding strained, as if he was struggling to keep emotions from tainting his voice. "What is it you needed?"

"I, er..." Felix glanced at Mary, unsure of whether to be comforted by an added character, or to be evermore anxious. But the look in her eyes was strange and unfamiliar, and it ended up putting Felix even more on edge. "I wanted to talk to you. It's... it's sort of important, so, do you think we could talk in private?"

"Of cou-" Gene began, but Mary hastily interrupted.

"No! I mean... n-no, I... we're, uh, late for something, so we're really in a rush. S-sorry, Felix." An apologetic smile spread across her lips, but the unnerving look never left her eyes.

"Uh, alright, then. Well..." Felix cleared his throat, removing his hat from his head and holding it against his belt, clutching to it tightly to ease his nervousness a little. "This is hard to say, Gene, and I'm sorry for having to say it in front of your, ah, lady friend..." Another glance toward Mary, who somehow looked even more upset than before.

"Yes?" Gene prompted Felix to continue.

"You... You really shouldn't envy me, Gene." Felix paused, unsure of where to go with this. "I... I know Calhoun is a heck of a gal, and believe you me, I understand if she makes your cheeks glow hotter than Mario's fireballs. But, Gene, jealousy... it's not a good thing." Oh, boy, Felix could tell he was doing an awful job conveying his thoughts. "S-so... So, don't be. Jealous, I mean. And maybe lighten up around Calhoun? She's getting awfully wound up about the way you've been lookin' at her."

Felix felt like he needed a closing to his little speech. Gene didn't look too happy, not at all. And Mary was positively fuming! "A-and, besides, you have this lovely lady right here," he added hastily, gesturing to Mary. "R-really, you're the lucky one. She makes the most delicious pies; I'm sure she makes an absolutely delightful companion!"

That seemed to soothe Mary somewhat, and she shot Felix a flattered smile. "Why, thank you, Felix," she chirped.

Gene, however, was not pleased. Not at all. "Felix," he began, his voice climbing into an angry squeak. He stopped himself, snatching a handkerchief out of his pocket to wipe some sweat off of his bright red face. "...You're hopeless," he grumbled, sighing in irritation. With that, he turned and strode off. Mary looked sincerely apologetic this time before chasing after Gene.

"...Jimminy jamminy," sighed Felix. "That didn't go well at all."

* * *

Calhoun had finished her coffee not too long after Felix had left their room. Deciding she would follow him out into the hallway, she started toward the door. However, she heard her husband talking to someone; it sounded like he was in the middle of a spiel. Or possibly telling someone off. (Though Calhoun doubted the latter.)

Curious, and not wanting to interrupt whatever speech her husband might have had going, she pressed her ear against the door, hoping to catch at least some of what Fix-it was spewing about.

"...lovely lady right here," Felix was saying. Was he talking about her? He had to be; who would he be talking about? "R-really, you're the lucky one. She makes the most delicious pies..." Wait, what? Who was the lucky one? And... pies? Calhoun had never made a pie in her life. She always left that up to...

"Mary," Calhoun hissed to herself, her blonde eyebrows furrowing as rage began to take over. Her limbs began to tremble, and she struggled to calm herself, wanting to hear the rest. Maybe... maybe she was wrong. Maybe it was a misunderstanding.

"I'm sure she makes an absolutely delightful companion." Felix sounded downright jolly, as per usual. And, yes, usually the excited squeak to his voice would cause her heart to race and heat to rise to her face. And certainly both these things were happening. However, not due to adoration. No, the complete opposite: absolute anger. She still held out, though, needing to be sure that her assumptions were correct.

"Why, thank you, Felix." And there it was. Mary's voice, the confirmation, the icing on the cake. With a growl, Calhoun backed away from the door. She was wrong to have tried to help out that little backstabber. Mary had sobbed to Calhoun about how she feared her boyfriend was falling for Felix, when really Mary was the one with the crush all along.

The Sergeant had made two enemies already, within a mere two days of living in this apartment.

Though that wasn't troublesome, really; usually she had millions of enemies, and those ones could actually pack a punch. These two enemies were simply a small obstacle to Calhoun; they were like two little traffic cones standing in the way of a monster truck. And, oh, was she going to crush them.


	4. Chapter 4

Later that day, after the arcade had closed, Calhoun tracked down Mary to give her a piece of her mind. And a warning.

As all the little Nicelanders scuttled down the steps that led to the building's roof, Calhoun waited in a shadowy hallway for them to disperse. As the crowd of Nicelanders went their separate ways, she zeroed in on Mary. To her fury, she found Mary talking to Felix.

Mary was going on about what sort of lactose-intolerant pies she was going to make for Felix next, or something. _Tch_, Calhoun thought,_ trying to suck up to her crush. Win over his favor with pies. The little maggot._

Calhoun had seen the ending sequence of "Fix-it Felix, Jr." a few times before. She knew that every time Felix won a medal, which was a lot, Mary hopped up and gave Felix a kiss on the cheek. Calhoun had thought it platonic before, but now it had taken on a whole new meaning. Calhoun growled quietly to herself. That was a lot of "platonic" kisses.

When Felix had left, Calhoun silently approached Mary. The little Nicelander was humming to herself as she walked down the hallway, completely unaware of Calhoun's presence, until the Sergeant barked out, "Mary!"

Mary jumped, then turned around and gave Calhoun quiet the startled look. "Er, yes?"

Calhoun squinted down at her. "I know what you're up to, Betty Crocker. I don't know how long this has been going on for, but it needs to stop. Now."

Mary flinched under Calhoun's unwavering stare. "I…I beg pardon? Ma'am, I don't know what you're—"

"Don't play dumb with me, Mary. I know what you think of Felix." Calhoun's voice was laced with disgust. Ignoring Mary's shocked expression, Calhoun continued on with her accusation, "Now I know why you date Gene. You're just as twisted in the brain as he is. What kind of little old lady are y—"

"Now hold on just a minute, ma'am!" She looked just as disgusted as Calhoun sounded. "I would never think of Felix that way! The very idea—and I should be the one yelling at you, not the other way around! You've been trying to woo my Genie Beanie, don't think I don't know. Felix told me—"

Mary paused at the absolutely appalled face Calhoun was making. "Oh, please. Excuse me while I puke, Mary."

"Well—! That's what I heard Felix say! He told Gene not to be jealous of you!"

"He told Gene what now?" Calhoun asked, raising an eyebrow. "Why would he…" suddenly, realization dawned on her. She sighed. Felix had misunderstood the entire situation. Of course.

"So are you trying to steal my Genie Beanie or not?" Mary asked, seeming more concerned than anything.

"No. Of course not," growled Calhoun before turning to stalk away.

"Wait! Uh, where are you going? I thought we were still talking about—"

"This conversation is over," Calhoun said over her shoulder. "Just know that I would never in a thousand years feel that way about Gene. And from what you're saying, you seem too smitten with Gene to feel anything but respect for Felix."

"Uh... okay..." Mary sounded befuddled.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to give my husband a piece of my mind." With that, the Sergeant marched away, fuming a tad. That Felix was as thick as the blanket of frosting that covered Sugar Rush's landscape!

However, as she headed back to her apartment building, the gears in her head began churning. She had originally planned on confronting her husband and telling him off for misunderstanding everything. But the more she thought about it, the less logical it seemed. Yelling at him would just scare him, as per usual, and when scared, he never thought straight. Likely, no moral lesson she had to tell him would get through to him, due to panic overcoming everything else within his tiny body.

And so, if she needed to get through to him, she would have to dig even deeper. She would have to do the same thing to him that he did to her, just so he could see what it was like. She'd have to let him feel the same feelings that she had felt so that he could truly understand what it was like.

It would be just like training a rookie. And she was particularly good at that.

And so, with pride welling up within Calhoun at her amazing idea, she decided to get to it immediately.


	5. Chapter 5

The first step was making sure that Felix was in position. She peeked into their room to find that, indeed, he was. He sat at the dining room table, his feet dangling from the tall chair (she couldn't imagine how much he struggled to get atop the chair without her), a book in one hand and a cup of sweet tea in the other. As he read, he looked so adorably lost in thought that Calhoun nearly rethought going through with the plan.

But she persuaded herself to be tough. After all, she was a Sergeant. Something as stupid as 'cuteness' wasn't going to weaken her.

So she quietly snuck away from the room, hurrying toward Gene's room. She knocked loudly and quickly on his door, wanting to get this over with as quickly as possible.

Gene cracked open the door, and looked hopeful, probably expecting to see Felix. As soon as his eyes met Calhoun's, his face dropped. "What is it?" he spat out.

"I need to talk. Come with me," she snapped, reaching out to grab him.

He slammed the door shut before her hand could pass through the threshold. "There's nothing to talk about," he yelled from the other side of the door. "Just go away!"

"There's plenty to talk about, caterpillar lip!" she shouted back. "Don't make me shoot the door down!"

It was silent for a moment, as if Gene was contemplating this. Finally, the door opened once more, as he probably didn't want to bother Felix to fix any more damage than he already had to. "What. Is. It." He repeated, slower and more venemous.

"I already told you, we need to talk. Just come down to me and Felix's room and—"

"Why can't we talk here?" he interrupted, gesturing down at the floor.

"Because. We can't. Are you really questioning someone with a gun?" She raised an eyebrow intimidatingly.

"W-well, I'll just regenerate!" he retorted.

"I can make your death painful and prolonged. And after you regenerate, I can kill you again. And again. And—"

"Okay, okay, you win," he yelped, holding his hands up in surrender. "I'll go with you. But let's just make this talk quick, alright?"

Calhoun made her way to her and Felix's apartment, Gene trailing behind her grumpily. Calhoun had left the door open a crack when she'd peeked in on Felix moments before, and as they neared the apartment she was glad to see that Felix hadn't bothered to shut it all the way. Everything was going according to plan.

Calhoun mentally steeled herself for what she had to do. When she got to the apartment, she suddenly whirled on Gene. Gene looked confused as to why she'd stopped before entering the apartment, but Calhoun didn't give him a chance to speak.

Raising her voice to make sure Felix would be able to hear her from outside, Calhoun began, "So, Gene. I wanted to talk to you about something…" She paused before continuing, fighting down the urge to vomit at what she was going to say. Gene raised an eyebrow, confused.

"You see," Calhoun continued, "I noticed you seem to be quite a fan of my husband. And I… wanted to know…" she was practically forcing out the words at this point. "Am I not good enough for you or something? I noticed you're always…staring at me." Staring, glaring—close enough. "If you have… feelings… for me, you should just let me know, because I'm sick of all this nonsense," she concluded. She looked Gene right in the eye.

She wasn't backing down from her plan now. She had to do this to make Felix understand why it was important he _really_ confronted Gene and made him stop being so obsessive and creepy. Felix had to know how it felt.

Gene looked so upset and enraged that he couldn't even seem to form words. He just stood there, looking up at her and sputtering in anger.

"How dare you even suggest something like that!" Gene finally spat, face red. "I couldn't give a crap about you if I tried, _Sergeant._" Calhoun didn't seem offended in the slightest at his angry, contemptuous tone. She just continued to stare down at him with an uncaring expression.

Once Gene had gotten started on his tirade, he couldn't seem to stop. "What even would prompt you to think that? I'm hardly ever even around you. You're off with Felix so often that I don't know how you'd even _notice_ me. Maybe you should quit breathing down his neck so much, and let other people have some time with him every so often, for pete's sake. Some people might care about him _just as much as you do!_"

Gene was fuming, and hadn't seemed to quite realize the implications of what he'd just said. Calhoun smirked. Gene was going to cause his own undoing, just as she'd predicted.

Before Gene could say anything further, the door behind them creaked open more and they turned to see a blue eye peeking out. Felix.


	6. Chapter 6

Felix had been a little confused when he'd heard Calhoun and Gene's voices in the hallway. Since when was Gene friendly to Calhoun, or vice versa? Maybe things were looking up? But as he continued to listen, his smile fell and he felt his heart sink.

He got closer to the door, trying to be as quiet as possible. He had to know what was going on.

"Am I not good enough for you or something?" he heard Calhoun say.

What was that supposed to mean?

"If you have…feelings…for me, you should just let me know, because I'm sick of all this nonsense."

Just as Felix's 8-bit heart was about to break, he noticed something off about his wife's voice. She was speaking as if she really didn't want to, and was forcing the words out. But why?

As Felix listened to Gene's rant, he slowly began to understand why.

"Some people might care about him_ just as much as you do_!"

Suddenly, realization hit him like the bricks Ralph throws around in his game. Gene wasn't jealous of him for having Calhoun…Gene was jealous of Calhoun for having _him_.

"Oh my land…" Felix murmured to himself. He'd always known Gene was a big fan of his, but this? This was just…downright creepy. Suddenly all the strange things Gene had said and done before made sense. Gene was creepy, and he was insulting his wife. He felt his hands form into tiny fists.

Felix became so lost in thought at this new information that he put a little too much weight on the door, and it opened more with an audible creak. He peeked out and saw Gene and Calhoun staring straight at him.

Upon being discovered, Felix knew he'd reached the point of no return. He couldn't just go back into the room and pretend he hadn't heard the entire conversation. Not when he was quaking with uncharacteristic anger.

So, he opened the door further, storming out of the room and standing in front of Calhoun, as if he were protecting her. Though protecting someone from Gene would likely be an easy task anyway.

"Gene," Felix started, rage tainting the normal cheerfulness of his voice, "I am very disappointed in you."

"Felix, this is all just a big misund—" Gene started, looking panic-stricken.

"No, it isn't! I heard the entire thing, Gene! How..." he began to splutter a little, clearly not one to scold others, "h-how DARE you talk that way to my wife! That's no way to talk to a lady! Y-you should... you should be downright ASHAMED of yourself!" He paused, looking at a loss for words, and yet the anger had yet to leave his face.

Gene took the silence as an opportunity to try to squeeze in an explanation. "But, Felix, I was just—"

"Let me finish, Gene," Felix snapped. Gene shrunk back. The fear that sparked within his eyes almost prompted Felix to stop short. He wasn't one who enjoyed striking fear in others. But Felix glanced back at Calhoun, and saw pride radiating on her face, and that was enough to assist him into continuing. "My wife has every right to accompany me everywhere I go. In fact, I want her to! I ask her to! I'm glad she's with me as much as she is, and I wouldn't trade her for any other person in the world! You can not replace her. You never could have! So just GET over it. Because I will never feel that way about you, Gene."

Felix stopped for a moment to catch his breath. He was starting to get way too worked up, and he knew he had to calm down. Gene looked sincerely hurt, and Felix felt guilt begin to rise up in him, washing away the anger. He had been too harsh.

"And..." Felix stuttered, wanting to at least make up for some of what he said, "a-and, besides, your creep—your, uhm, overwhelming loyalty to me... i-it isn't fair to Mary. You're completely leaving her in the dust, Gene. She deserves better."

There was a long, awkward pause after that.

Finally, Gene spoke. "You…you're right, Felix. I'm sorry." His voice was strained and his head held low. He couldn't believe he'd let himself slip up like that. He'd never in his life wanted anyone to know any of this. He had never been more embarrassed… In that moment, he just wanted to disappear.

Another uncomfortable silence followed. Nobody was sure what to say after that. Felix scratched the back of his head, at a loss, and looked up at Calhoun for help.

"Speaking of Mary," Calhoun said, "Maybe you should go spend some time with her, eh?"

Gene nodded once, then quickly retreated from the room.

"Gosh," Felix sighed when he'd gone. He felt his shoulders sag under the weight of how harsh he'd been. "Do ya think I was too mean?"

Calhoun snorted. "Absolutely not, short-stack. You just said what needed to be said."

Felix nodded, then paused a moment before asking, "Tammy…the way you were talking to Gene… you didn't mean any of that, did you?" He really doubted it, but he just had to be sure.

Calhoun made sure to look Felix directly in the eyes as she answered. "No. I was trying to spark a reaction in Gene, and it worked." She knelt down to be on his eye level. "I did it so you would see just how obsessive Gene was being, but I'm sorry I had to scare you like that in the process. In hindsight, it was a pretty unthoughtful thing for me to do."

"No, ma'am," said Felix. "If you hadn't done that, I never would've realized. I always knew there was somethin' about Gene that made me a might uncomfortable, but I…I never thought…" He trailed off, putting a hand to his forehead as memories of Gene started clicking together even more.

"I mean, there was the one time he gave me my mail and one of the letters was open, but I thought it was just a _mistake_ or something… and when our game was first plugged in, he used to follow me around a lot, but I mean, so did most of the Nicelanders." He was pacing around just a bit now, gesturing wildly as he thought. "He…he usually asked me what my favorite of everything was. And that was normal enough, I guess, but after a while it was almost like he knew everything about me. It was like he had a manual on me, or, or a biography or something." Everything Gene had done was taking on a new, terrible perspective. Felix hugged his arms and continued to pace. "But there was one thing he did that made me uncomfortable around Gene ever since then." He stopped pacing and looked up at Calhoun nervously.

Calhoun looked deadly serious. She almost didn't want to know. "What?"

"He… jimminy, he outright walked in on me while I was in the shower once! I have no idea how he got in my room, Tammy—he said it was an accident and I believed him, but I just never understood…" he sighed, taking off his hat and fidgeting with it. "Maybe I just didn't want to understand."

"I don't blame you," Tamora said evenly, shaking her head. "But you did the right thing." She straightened up and looked in the direction Gene had retreated in. "And I doubt ol' 'Genie Beanie' will be messing with you again anytime soon." She stated matter-of-factly.

Felix smiled up at her in response, placing his hat back on his head. He felt so relieved.

* * *

Gene spent the rest of the day with Mary, and the majority of the following week with her. It was a trend that would continue, with Gene rarely ever resuming his creepy habits (at least not to Felix or Calhoun's knowledge, and Calhoun kept a very sharp eye out).

In doing so, Gene built more of a bond with Mary than he'd ever had before. They both felt a lot happier, now, and Felix and Calhoun felt less worried about Gene.

Though it still sometimes pained him to see Calhoun and Felix together, Gene knew he'd done the right thing—he could feel it in his moustache.


End file.
